I have a boyfriend that is 16 years old. he lives with his
mom. He has been to foster care because his mother chose meth over him but she
got him back and has had him for a few years. for the past 6 months his mother
has been acting wierd and crazy as if using again. I am also friends with her so
i get both sides of the story. they fight alot and she takes things out of
control. she doesnt hit him, its more mental abuse. Right now the current
situation as of tonight is he wouldnt get on a carousel with her so she made him
wlk home (a good 5 or 6 miles) and took his little brother out to eat without
him then grounded him for a month. She expects to keep him in a room were there
cat uses the bathrrom for a month and to clean up all day. he has thought about
calling the police but it would be his word against hers and he is on probation
so that looks even worse. I am trying to get him help and advice on what to do
but i have nothing so im asking for your advice. If he leaves to get out of the
house she reports him as a runaway and he does jail time but if he stays he is
more her slave than son. My parents said he can stay at my place for a few days
til things with his mom calm down. He doesnt want to go to foster care because
some thing happened last time that affected him but he wont go into detail.
sorry this is so long i just know of no one esle to ask for help. thank you.
Thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to
ask for help, and it must be stressful for you to see your boyfriend going
through this hard time. I can see that you really care about him and want to
support him in any way you can. At YouthLine, we have the ability to help you
file an abuse report claim, but we would have to speak to your boyfriend over
the phone first. The Youthline number is 1-877-968-8491, and we are available at
any time. Does your boyfriend have a case worker or a probation officer? He
could file a report with either of those people and it might make it easier
because they already know him. Running away from home probably is not a good
idea because he is on probation, and unfortunately it might not be a good idea
for him to hide out at your parent’s house either because of legal problems that
it could open your family up to. It seems totally understandable for your
boyfriend to have bad feelings towards foster care if he had a bad experience in
the past, but I would imagine that his case worker would have a good idea of
what might be the best situation for him.
The other side of the issue is his mother’s possible relapse.
If you believe that his mom is struggling with meth use again then a good option
could be to call the YouthLine, and together we can try to find possible and
affordable treatment options for her in your area. If your boyfriend does not
want to move out, then perhaps the best thing to do is ensure that his home
situation is a safe one.
I hope that this is helpful for you and your boyfriend. As we
said before our number is 1-877-968-8491 and we also have live
chat available at www.oregonyouthline.org, so if you would like to discuss your
situation with us a little bit more we are always available. Keep in mind our
phone line and chat are completely confidential, and we would be more than happy
to continue to help.