I’ve been with this guy for almost 1 year and 8 months and he said the only reason we broke up is because of stress. He’s lied to me before, and cheated on me, and broke up with me, this is the second time. I don’t know that to do!
Thank you for contacting the YouthLine. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time right now and I would imagine your emotions are all over the place. I am sorry to hear that you are having difficulty with your ex. This guy has been in your life for quite some time which I’m sure makes the separation even more difficult and confusing. Other than what you shared, I don’t know much about your situation and I cannot advise you on what you should do and cannot offer a clear-cut answer. What I can do is offer you support and encouragement in the hopes that it helps you make a confident decision that is right for you at this time, and most importantly, one that you can be happy with. Your health and happiness is most important and should be top priority!
At the YouthLine, we emphasize honesty and communication. In your question you mentioned that this is the second time your boyfriend has broken up for you for no apparent reason at all, and in addition to that, has broken your trust. Your boyfriend aside, I would encourage you to be a little selfish by putting your own needs first for now and really reflecting on this relationship. You could think about the following questions: Is this relationship equally balanced and healthy? Am I treated with honesty and respect? Does this person bring primarily happiness to my life or mostly stress? How do my friends and family feel about the relationship? Is this someone I want to let back into my life? Where do I see this relationship going?
At the YouthLine, we also strongly recommend setting healthy boundaries. If you are ever being treated with disrespect and unfairly and feel that you do not deserve that, that is absolutely okay and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. You decide who comes into your life and who stays there. You also decide what standards you want to set for the different relationships in your life, whether it is a relationship with a family member, friend, co-worker, boyfriend, etc.
This must be a very emotionally difficult time for you, so please put your health and well-being first and be sure to always take care of yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to give the YouthLine a call! Teens that will listen and not judge are available to answer calls Monday-Friday from 4-9pm. You can also visit our website at www.oregonyouthline.org and chat with a teen through instant messaging.
Best of Luck,