Check out this article on how to use “Mindfulness” as a self-care strategy to cope with stress.
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Posted October 30, 2012
Check out this article on how to use “Mindfulness” as a self-care strategy to cope with stress.
Posted August 8, 2012
Dear Hope,
Thank you so much for reaching out to the YouthLine! I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father. It sounds like he has been a very important person in your life and without him you are feeling overwhelmed and isolated with no one to truly understand how you are feeling. I imagine it is very frustrating for you to not have the support of your mom and other family members during this time. People usually react and cope with the death of a loved one in many different ways and it seems to me that your mom is probably dealing with the grief by holding it in and not talking about it. For some people, talking about it is just too painful but for others it can be very helpful. Maybe you could try having another conversation with your mom at a time when you both are not busy and are relatively calm where you could try explaining to her how it makes you feel when she turns you away and is insensitive about the grief you are experiencing over your dad’s death. It sounds to me like it is important for you to have someone you can talk to especially since you are now starting to have panic attacks when you become too upset with nowhere to turn. Have you considered maybe talking to someone other than your mom about your dad’s death, such as a friend, a trusted adult, counselor, etc.?
If you feel as though there is no one you would be comfortable talking to, there are teens that volunteer and answer phone calls Monday-Friday from 2-7pm who will gladly offer a listening ear as well as any resources you may need (1-877-968-8491). You can also text teen2teen to 66746 if you do not want to talk on the phone.
From what you told me, it seems like when you start having a panic attack you feel so out of control and distraught that at one point cutting seemed to be the only option that would help relieve the emotional pain and anxiety. You mentioned that you are afraid you are going to take the cutting farther which leads me to believe that there is a part of you that does not want to make a decision in the heat of the moment that cannot be taken back, but there is also a part of you that maybe doesn’t know any other way to feel better. As someone who cares about your safety and well-being, I hope to be able to offer you encouragement and suggestions so that when you start to feel like cutting, you will have many more options you can turn to. If at all possible, I think it could be very helpful to see a doctor and tell him/her about the panic attacks you are experiencing because it is likely that you could get on medication to help relieve the anxiety you are experiencing and lessen the chance that you will turn to cutting. Also, is there anything that you enjoy doing such as reading, writing in a journal, drawing, painting, running, watching movies, listening to music, etc.? Maybe the next time you feel the urge to cut you could try one of these since they are a healthy way of coping and you don’t have to worry about harming yourself and doing something you might regret.
I wish you all the best and remember you can call 1-877-968-8491 anytime!
-YouthLine
Posted April 13, 2012
At YouthLine we always stress the importance of self care. No matter what life throws at you, one of the best ways to keep your mood up and your stress down is exercise. Exercising can be difficult for a lot of people – it takes time, space and can be embarrassing if you haven’t done it in awhile. One option that is often overlooked is yoga. Yoga is great for your flexibility and strength, and is well known for being amazingly soothing and even therapeutic. This article from Teen Health talks about how effective yoga can be as a stress reliever. Check it out and give it a try!
Posted January 17, 2012
Here is an interesting story that takes a look at the upside to not getting into your dream college. Take a look, it’s definitely worth your while.
Posted December 21, 2011
Having a body is much like owning a home. Some of the parallels between these two concepts are simple: Homes, like bodies, require maintenance and touching-up on a regular basis – new paint, taking out the trash, sweeping the kitchen floor can be compared to good personal hygiene, haircuts, or checkups with the doctor. But the analogy runs deeper than that, and can perhaps lead to a better understanding of why self care, both physical and mental, is important.
Depending on your beliefs on the afterlife, your body may be your first and last home, the house you were born in and the one you’ll grow old in. Or it might be just one in many, a short stop in a series of moves. However, no matter your religion, there are some things about owning a body that don’t change. You still have to take care of it, and, since you’ll be living in it for a while, you should love it if you possibly can.
There are things you can change about a home that might make it feel nicer, more like it’s yours. A fresh paint job in the kitchen or some new appliances bring some of your own style into a house which might otherwise feel generic to you. Likewise, haircuts, hair dye, or even a tattoo, piercing, or other mod can help you bring your inner self to the surface. But like remodeling your house, any such decision needs to be undertaken with a level of care and respect comparable to the severity of the change. Trimming your hair a few inches doesn’t need a whole lot of thought, just as you might impulsively buy new curtains for the living room. But if you’re going to remodel your entire house, some level of commitment needs to be present, in the same manner as running out to get a tattoo that might be visible to employers requires some thought and commitment.
In your own house, you need to be comfortable and healthy, and part of that concerns what you bring into it. Part of that is drugs – you wouldn’t paint your kitchen with lead, and in much the same manner something you put in your body shouldn’t pose a serious threat to your health. Another aspect of this is relationships. You wouldn’t let someone into your home who you didn’t trust to treat you respectfully. This doesn’t just mean sex. Cheesy as it might sound, your friends, partners, and anyone else who you are in a close relationship with will on some level be let into your heart, and that’s just as important if not more so to keep for people you can trust.
Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to keep untrustworthy people out of their home. Statistically, many, many people are violated physically or sexually, and many more allow people into their lives who betray, downtalk, or otherwise emotionally hurt them. When this happens, it can be absolutely devastating. But recovery is possible. You may never be the same again, this event may have changed your life, like a burglar can steal something priceless or sentimentally valuable to you. But eventually, healing can occur. Many people have done it before, and so can you. It’s common to feel some aversion towards yourself or your body at such a time, but self harm isn’t a healthy option at this point – nor it it at any time. If someone broke into your house, would you tear down a wall or break a window? Chances are, whoever hurt you has done so enough already, and now is the time to be kinder than ever to yourself.
As a homeowner, a level of commitment is needed to the home – you made an investment, now it needs to be protected. I mentioned above that harming yourself after a traumatic event isn’t a good idea, but honestly at the best of times it’s still an unhealthy thing to do. I compared it to tearing down a wall, and sometimes you might do that in a house, as you might have a surgery. But before you start taking the wall down, there are things to consider. It’ll make a mess, and might end up just making things worse. Besides, you don’t know if it’s a load-bearing wall, so knocking it down might bring down the entire house. Self injury is similar. It might make you feel better over the short term, but over time it can hurt even more and make you feel worse, and the potential for permanent damage is very high.
Lastly, but probably most importantly, loving your home is important. You’re going living in it for a while, and although there may be things you dislike about it, like the shape of the kitchen or a storage room that really doesn’t have enough space, those things don’t make up the whole of the house, and they certainly don’t define you, the inhabitant. You might think that your house is horrible or ugly, but there will absolutely always be something good about it. If nothing else, appreciate its basic functions. Your home shelters you from the elements, gives you a place to put your possessions, a place to sleep. Likewise, your body’s senses allow you to experience the world, and depending on the body you inhabit, might allow you to move and travel through the world. No matter how little you might think of your body, it does more for you than you might be considering.
-YouthLine Volunteer