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Posted November 9, 2011
“BeLonG To is an organisation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) young people, aged between 14 and 23.”
Check them out here!
Posted November 8, 2011
Posted October 20, 2011
I have a boyfriend that is 16 years old. he lives with his
mom. He has been to foster care because his mother chose meth over him but she
got him back and has had him for a few years. for the past 6 months his mother
has been acting wierd and crazy as if using again. I am also friends with her so
i get both sides of the story. they fight alot and she takes things out of
control. she doesnt hit him, its more mental abuse. Right now the current
situation as of tonight is he wouldnt get on a carousel with her so she made him
wlk home (a good 5 or 6 miles) and took his little brother out to eat without
him then grounded him for a month. She expects to keep him in a room were there
cat uses the bathrrom for a month and to clean up all day. he has thought about
calling the police but it would be his word against hers and he is on probation
so that looks even worse. I am trying to get him help and advice on what to do
but i have nothing so im asking for your advice. If he leaves to get out of the
house she reports him as a runaway and he does jail time but if he stays he is
more her slave than son. My parents said he can stay at my place for a few days
til things with his mom calm down. He doesnt want to go to foster care because
some thing happened last time that affected him but he wont go into detail.
sorry this is so long i just know of no one esle to ask for help. thank you.
Dear Mickey
Thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of courage to
ask for help, and it must be stressful for you to see your boyfriend going
through this hard time. I can see that you really care about him and want to
support him in any way you can. At YouthLine, we have the ability to help you
file an abuse report claim, but we would have to speak to your boyfriend over
the phone first. The Youthline number is 1-877-968-8491, and we are available at
any time. Does your boyfriend have a case worker or a probation officer? He
could file a report with either of those people and it might make it easier
because they already know him. Running away from home probably is not a good
idea because he is on probation, and unfortunately it might not be a good idea
for him to hide out at your parent’s house either because of legal problems that
it could open your family up to. It seems totally understandable for your
boyfriend to have bad feelings towards foster care if he had a bad experience in
the past, but I would imagine that his case worker would have a good idea of
what might be the best situation for him.
The other side of the issue is his mother’s possible relapse.
If you believe that his mom is struggling with meth use again then a good option
could be to call the YouthLine, and together we can try to find possible and
affordable treatment options for her in your area. If your boyfriend does not
want to move out, then perhaps the best thing to do is ensure that his home
situation is a safe one.
I hope that this is helpful for you and your boyfriend. As we
said before our number is 1-877-968-8491 and we also have live
chat available at www.theyouthline.org, so if you would like to discuss your
situation with us a little bit more we are always available. Keep in mind our
phone line and chat are completely confidential, and we would be more than happy
to continue to help.
Best,
YouthLine
Posted August 16, 2011
Me and my girlfriend have an age difference of 3 and a half years. I am just about to turn 18 next month. We have known each other for a long time and wanted to be more than just friends. When talking about my birthday and turning 18 my parents were talking about what i could and could not do. One of the things my parents brought up was that i could not have sex with someone under my age.
I know that the law states that its illegal unless the age difference is less than 3 years. But am I really 6 months too old? I have never pressured her, I do what she tells me she wants to do. I told her that if she wants anything sexual she should lead it. I care about her, the last thing i would want to do is to make her feel pressured to do anything.
I don’t want to go to jail over something like this. I wouldn’t want to be separated from her.
so, does it include months difference when it says “Third-degree rape to have sexual intercourse with a person under age 16. Defense that the actor was less than three years older than the victim at the time of the offense”?
Would this mean that we could have sex till i am 18? then we could have to wait 6 months till she was another year older so we could again? would we have to have this off and on period of 6 months till she was 18?
Please help, i don’t want to get myself into legal trouble
Thank you for your time
Dear Brandon,
Thank you so much for coming to us for help. It is really mature of you to inquire about the situation that you’re in with your girlfriend. It is a really difficult position that you’re in, and it is one that many young adults face as they get older.
We looked into the issue and we found the same explanation of the law that you found. Because your girlfriend is under 16 you will be in danger of being in real trouble. On top of that, she is more than 3 years younger than you, which means that even after she reaches the age of 16, your age gap is too large to protect you from the close-in-age exception. The age of consent in Oregon is 18, so with your age gap you will be in danger of serious legal repercussions until she turns 18 as well. It is also important to note that sexual contact is not limited to penile-vaginal intercourse, but even encompasses the touching of breast or buttocks under Oregon state law.
We found some examples of young men in similar situations that we feel are important for you to read and consider. This one is from Michigan and this one is from Oregon.
This must be such a painful situation to be in, and I imagine that what we have said is not what you wanted to hear. We at YouthLine feel that the legal troubles that you will be subject to require your full attention and consideration. It sounds like this young woman is very special to you, and so we must advise you to refrain from any sexual contact with her until she turns 18. This will not be an easy conversation to have with her, but your future together will be very different if you have a felony conviction.
From your email it sounds like your parents are very supportive of you, so it might be helpful for you to continue to talk with your parents about your situation, or even have them with you when you decide to talk to your girlfriend.
We wish you the best of luck and are very proud of you for wanting to be responsible. If you would like to call the YouthLine to discuss the situation further you can reach us at 1-877-968-8491.
Sincerely,
YouthLine
Posted June 22, 2011
Check out this website for great information on relationships, including what a healthy relationship looks like as well as an abusive relationship, and even help on how to get out. The website includes personal stories from teens who have been in abusive relationships, and much much more.
Posted May 25, 2011
Check out this website to find a ton of information on many issues that you could be facing as you grow up. This site targets girls between the ages of 10 to 16, but contains information that could be useful for girls of any age! Some of the information you will find on this site is information on changes that could be happening with your body and questions you may have, information on fitness and nutrition, illness and disability, drugs and alcohol, relationships, bullying, healthy ways to handle stress and anxiety, and much much more! Does anyone have any healthy coping mechanisms that you have found to work well when under a lot of stress? (such as reading a book or going for a walk) Please share! =)