Youthline 877-968-8491

I am 16 years old and my boyfriend is 17 years old we had sex for the first time
a few months ago. When I came home thAt night my mom was yelling at me asking me
if I has sex with my boyfriend. I told her no beciase I didn’t know the chances
were good I can get pregnant. How do I tell my family and my boyfriend about the
baby? I am 17 weeks so I should have told them a while ago! School Starts soon
what should I expect!?

Dear Samantha,

Thank you for reaching out to the YouthLine for help. This is very brave of you considering the tough situation you are in right now. I imagine you are feeling very scared and alone since you have not yet told your family or boyfriend about the pregnancy. The fact that you have contacted YouthLine tells me that you are interested in making a decision for yourself. My goal is to make sure that the decision you make is healthy and safe, and one that you and those around you can be happy with. There are options out there, not just one right or wrong answer. Keep in mind that in addition to being a minor, the decision you make regarding the pregnancy involves and affects many other people besides just yourself, so it is important that your family and boyfriend be made aware of the pregnancy. I understand that this is probably a scary thing for you, but at some point they are going to find out, so the sooner this can be talked about the better. In terms of how you should go about having this conversation, it’s tough to say. Have you thought about maybe having your parents and boyfriend together when you tell them about the pregnancy  so that everyone can discuss it together? If you call the YouthLine, one of our teen volunteers would be happy to discuss this with you further in order to help you decide how you would like the conversation to go. You could even do a role-play with a teen to practice the conversation.

Now, just some things for you to think about: have you been to a doctor to confirm that you are pregnant? You said that you are 17 weeks along so it is very important that you receive medical care and guidance. If you do not have a primary care physican that you can see, I would recommend visiting Planned Parenthood where you can receive both care and guidance on where to go from here. I am not qualified to give you much medical advice beyond that, but I do wish you all the best and I encourage you to call the YouthLine to talk more about this and receive some support from teenagers who care. We have teens available to answer calls Monday-Friday from 2-7 pm. Our number is 1-877-968-8491.

-YouthLine

My ex boyfriend and me dated for 14mos. things were going really good until he told me he wanted to take a break and that we could be friends with benefits. And now a couple weeks later he has a new girlfriend. so i don’t know what i should do. i mean i love him and i just need a little help as to what to do. should i wait for him or just move on?.

Relationships can be a very tricky thing for the fact that they are so different depending on the people and situation involved. What works for one couple may not work for another. The confusion you are feeling is completely normal and to be expected. You and your boyfriend were together for over a year, so I think it is pretty safe to assume that over that span of time a strong connection was developed. Losing any type of relationship, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, is a really tough thing for anyone to deal with, so don’t feel like you are alone in this! I am not able to provide you with a clear cut answer on what you should do, but what I can do is offer you some questions that you can ponder to hopefully help in making a confident decision that is right for you at this time, and most importantly, one that you can be happy with. Your health and happiness is most important and should be top priority!

You mentioned in your comment that things were going “really good” up until the point that your boyfriend wanted a break. Did he feel the same way about your relationship? Did he tell you of any particular reason for wanting a break? If not, this is a conversation you may want to have with your ex when deciding whether or not you want to date again in the future. Figuring out whether you both are on the same page or not in terms of the relationshp is important in deciding what to do next. You said that your ex got a new girlfriend shortly after taking a break from the relationship. Is this something you think would happen again if you started dating in the future? And if so, are you okay with that? Only you know what you are comfortable with and how you expect and want a relationship to work. If you are unsure on what a healthy relationship looks like, I would really recommend checking out the website link I put on this blog. Some other things to consider are whether or not you and your ex had an established friendship prior to dating. Is this an “all-or-nothing” thing for you or are you content with just being friends with your ex? Ultimately, figuring out where you and your ex stand in terms of your previous relationship and possible future relationship, will be very helpful in deciding where to go from here. You could also make a pro’s and con’s list to help you weigh out your options. I wish you all the luck in making a decision. Remember that you can always call the YouthLine, which is 24/7. Teenagers are available to answer calls Monday through Friday from 2-7 pm.

Here is the link to the website I posted on the original blog:

http://lovegoodbadugly.com/