Are you or someone you care about being bullied?

April 5, 2012

The following information can be found at http://helpguide.org/mental/bullying.htm

IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED:

-Don’t blame yourself. It is not your fault. No matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel.

-Be proud of who you are. Despite what a bully says, there are many wonderful things about you. Keep those in mind instead of the messages you hear from bullies.

-Get help. Talk to a parent, teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult. Seeing a counselor does not mean there is something wrong with you.

-Learn to deal with stress. Finding ways to relieve stress can make you more resilient so you won’t feel overwhelmed by bullying. Exercise, meditation, positive self-talk, muscle relaxation and breathing exercises are all good ways to manage the stress from bullying.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH BULLYING & CYBERBULLYING:

Tip #1: Respond as bullying is happening

  • Walk away. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force. If you walk away, ignore them, or calmly and assertively tell them you’re not interested in what they have to say, you’re demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.
  • Protect yourself. If you can’t walk away and are being physically hurt, protect yourself so you can get away. Your safety is the first priority.
  • Report the bullying to a trusted adult. If you don’t report threats and assaults, a bully will often become more and more aggressive. In many cases adults can find ways to help with the problem without letting the bully know it was you who reported them.
  • Repeat as necessary. Like the bully, you may have to be relentless. Report each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with bullying.

Tip #2: Handle a cyber-bully

  • Do not respond to cyber-bullying messages. The bully wants to feel in control of your emotions, so the best response is no response.
  • Document cyber-bullying. Save and print out emails, text messages, or screenshots.
  • Block the cyber-bully on your phone, IM list, websites, or social media pages. Report inappropriate messages to an Internet service provider or website moderator; report threats to the police.

Tip #3: Reframe the problem of bullying or cyber-bullying

By changing your attitude towards bullying you can help regain a sense of control.

  • Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
  • Look at the big picture. Bullying can be extremely painful, but try asking yourself how important it will seem to you in the long run. Will it matter in a year? Is it worth getting so upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
  • Focus on the positive. Reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. Make a list and refer to it whenever you feel down.
  • Find the humor. If you’re relaxed enough to recognize the absurdity of a bullying situation, and to comment on it with humor, you’ll likely no longer be an interesting target for a bully.
  • Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.

Tip #4: Avoid isolation

Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience when being bullied. Reach out to connect with family and real friends (those who don’t participate in bullying) or explore ways of making new friends. There are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

  • Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music.
  • Share your feelings. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference to the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.
  • Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to help you feel good about yourself, as well as reduce stress. Punch a mattress or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger.
  • Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or replaying it over and over in your head. Instead, focus on positive experiences you’ve had.

If you or someone you love is being bullied in any way, please call the YouthLine at 1-877-968-8491 to talk to another teen who is willing and ready to listen to anything you want to talk about and work with you to figure out what steps should be taken to make the situation better. The volunteers at YouthLine truly care and want whoever is reading this to know that you are special and important and do not deserve to be bullied. If you do not feel comfortable calling, you can TEXT teen2teen to 66746.

Filed under: Bullying — kaitlyn
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Taking Action Against School Bullying

February 7, 2012

“Last fall, the  brutal, unprovoked beating of Zach, an openly gay student at Unioto High School  in Chillicothe, Ohio, made  national headlines when a video of the incident went viral online. Today, the ACLU  is releasing a new video that features Zach and his mom, Becky Collins.  Zach and Becky describe years of unending  discrimination and harassment that Zach experienced at school based on his  perceived sexual orientation.  As the  years went on, the abuse only escalated.   Becky’s pleas to school officials to protect her son were ignored. And then the  videotaped beating occurred and spread like wildfire online, garnering lots of  attention to the challenges lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT)  students like Zach face each day they go to school.”

Read the rest of the article here: http://www.aclu.org/blog/lgbt-rights/victim-brutal-lgbt-bullying-ohio-school-tells-his-story

 

Filed under: Bullying,Education Opportunities,Harassment,LGBTQ — kaitlyn
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YouthLine Hours

January 4, 2012

Our youth volunteers are available to answer calls and chat online Monday-Friday from 4-9pm. Our adult crisis workers are available 24/7, so your call will always be answered if you are in need of someone caring and non-judgemental to talk to! Call us at: 1-877-968-8491 (1-877-YOUTH-911), or chat online by clicking on the “click to chat” icon!

Filed under: Alcohol,Bullying,Depression,Eating Disorders,Grief,Harassment,Home News,Relationships,Stress,Substance Abuse,Suicide — alex
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Video of the Day – What’s goin on…

December 7, 2011

You’ve probably already seen this video (over 6.5 million people have) posted by Jonah Mowry, a brave young man sharing his feelings about the bullying he has faced and what it has done to him, but if you haven’t it’s definitely worth watching.  If you have already seen it…watch it again!

Filed under: Bullying,Depression,Feel Good Message of the Day,Harassment,LGBTQ,Suicide — alex
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Bullying, Bisexuality, and Social Media: A Teen’s Perspective

November 17, 2011

An excerpt:

Mamiverse: You waited about a year to tell your parents and Anna that you were dating a girl. What kept you from telling them?
Sarah: I wasn’t sure how my mom would react, I just didn’t know how to tell her, and I didn’t really know myself what to call it. I liked boys, I still like boys. I didn’t think of it as wanting to date girls, it was that I loved her. I only told my mom when I couldn’t hide how upset I was when we broke up. I told Anna right after I told my mom.

Read the rest here

 

 

 

Filed under: Bullying,LGBTQ,Relationships,Sexuality — kaitlyn
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Bullying

November 16, 2011

I can’t stand when people bully me or others for that matter! I have been going through it for years. People think it’s cool and it’s not!

 

Dear Sabrina,

I am sorry to hear that you and others are being bullied. No one deserves to be bullied. There are a few things we can suggest to you. The most important is to remember to take care of yourself, and if others are being bullied, to remind them to take care of themselves too. If you are taking good care of yourself physically and mentally, it is a lot harder for outside influences to affect you. You will be feeling much better about yourself on the inside, which will be transparent and show on the outside. Remember to always keep your head up and be strong because if a bully can see that the bullying is “working” by way of affecting you and your well-being, (s)he is going to take advantage of that and continue to bring you down.

However, that doesn’t mean that you or anyone else should have to deal with bullying. If you have talked to the bully or bullies already and they have not stopped, or if you do not feel safe talking to them, you or whoever is being bullied should talk to a trusted adult –such as a teacher, a counselor, or a parent. These people can take the appropriate measures to ensure that the bullying stops. If the bullying does stop after taking these steps and getting an adult involved, it is important that you continue to care for yourself and keep your self-esteem up. You can do this by building good  self-care skills for the future. Self-care is basically doing something for yourself that is healthy, that you enjoy, that makes you feel good and uplifted, and keeps your stress down. An example could be going for a run or taking a bath. Only you know what works best for you, but here is a website with some tips that can give you an idea of how to cultivate good self-care skills: http://www.state.sc.us/dmh/bryan/webstres.htm

I hope this helps you. If you ever need more help, we would love to hear from you! Feel free to email us here, chat with us by going to oregonyouthline.org and clicking “Chat Now” on the right, or giving us a call us at 1-877-968-8491. The YouthLine is available 24/7, and teens are available to answer your calls Monday-Friday from 4-9pm.

Best of luck,

YouthLine

 

Filed under: Bullying,Read Your Answers — kaitlyn
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BeLonG To

November 9, 2011

“BeLonG To is an organisation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) young people, aged between 14 and 23.”

Check them out here!

Filed under: Bullying,LGBTQ,Relationships,Sexuality — kaitlyn
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How to Fend Off an Attacker

July 28, 2011

With the constant danger of being mugged or attacked, it’s helpful to know how to protect yourself. Especially important for teen girls, self-defense and quick thinking may save your life. A can of pepper spray or mace is helpful. Also beneficial is this website, watch the video for added entertainment.

 

Filed under: Bullying,Education Opportunities,Harassment — youthline1
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It Gets Better! (we promise)

July 21, 2011

Howdy!

As a new YouthLine-er, it is my pleasure to introduce to you the It Gets Better Project! It Gets Better (let’s abbreviate here, IGB) is a collection of youtube videos made by adults who identify as LGBTQQ. In their videos, they tell us about their coming out stories, their struggles, and eventually their triumphs. There are all sorts of people on there, from Stephen Colbert to a US Marine named Corporal Andrew Stevens, who have videos on the website. While their upbringings, occupations, and personalities may be completely different, they share a common message: It may be tough and seemingly impossible right now, but the harassment does go away as you get older, and that life gets better.

Interested? Check out the link: http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

Have a great day!

Filed under: Bullying,LGBTQ — youthline1
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My brother always makes fun of my weight

June 8, 2011

I am 15 and I am over weight. I never thought my own brother would be the one to be mean to me about it. He asks my mom why I am big. And always says that I am fat. Or if I get in a pool i might sink. And He doesn’t just say it around me, he says it around family,friends, at events. And all my mom says is (name removed) DON’T. It is making me feel HORRIBLE and along with other stuff that has happened make the feeling to want to leave home even stronger. I don’t really want to go to a counseler or talk to anybody about it because they might say “Yes oh you poor dear” or “just ignore it, and try to work through it” EVEN WORSE “Maybe you need to talk to your parents about it!” YUCK! So I need some ideas on what to do and what to say to him (my brother). It seems like this is slowly killing me inside. Please Answer my questions! =/

Dear Makenzie,

Thank you for contacting YouthLine. We know you must be having a difficult time with this and are really glad that you reached out for help. Try not to be discouraged by your brother’s words. We think that it might help if you try to calmly sit your brother down and explain how you feel when he calls you fat. Let him know that it really hurts when he says stuff like that, and that your weight is a sensitive spot that you don’t want to be teased about. Tell him that you are just like any other girl, and there are some things he cannot say because they cross the line. Just because you are his sister and part of his family does not mean that he can treat you without respect. Try to be firm and calm, but don’t get mad at your brother.

You could also try talking to your counselor. Even though you think that they will not give you good advice, it is worth a shot and you may be surprised to find that it helped. Counselors are there to help you work out your problems and some counselors are actually really good. Talking to a counselor, you could be sure that the conversation would be confidential and would stay between the two of you. I know you mentioned you had other issues that made you want to leave home even more. I don’t know what they are, but it is important to stay positive and take care of yourself- both physically and mentally. We care about how you are feeling and would love to talk to you in more detail about any other conflicts in your life that are making you want to move out.

You can also look at this site to learn more about body image: http://www.girlshealth.gov/feelings/sad/bodyimage.cfm.

and this site for some techniques for helping you cope with the stress in your life: http://www.rd.com/health/37-stress-management-tips/

Again, you can always call YouthLine, tell us about your problems and talk it out with us. Teens are available to take YouthLine calls from 4-9 PM Monday through Thursday. Our number is 1-877-968-8491; if you ever need to talk, please call us!

Good luck Makenzie!

-YouthLine

Filed under: Bullying,Read Your Answers,Stress — kaitlyn
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